Surprise! Johnson still has all the answers

Coach Paul Johnson put a bow-tie on Georgia Tech's most miserable season in 14 years at his annual end-of-season press conference on Friday. As with all of Johnson's reluctant interactions with the unwashed public, smugness, pomposity, and clichés dominated the proceedings. Here are some of the more salient quotations, coupled with our astute expert analysis:


(Note: Emphasis in quotations added by me)

It is what it is

Isn't it?

It was out of the norm for Georgia Tech and it was out of the norm for me. I think in 14 years as a head coach that’s only the second time we’ve had a losing season.

Again, Johnson isolates he and his band of mercenary coaches from the Institute. He has long established the fact that he does not consider himself a part of Georgia Tech, and that he does not share in our objectives. To Johnson, he and his staff is always "us" and "we," and the Georgia Institute of Technology always amounts to "them" and "they."

I think the thing you have to be careful of is that you don’t blow everything up because it has been successful and you know the model works.

Interesting how the "model" didn't work so hot this year, minus Gailey's NFL players. With no playmakers in sight to step into those roles, the future prospectus for the "model" looks bleak.

But of course, finishing out your class with a platterful of Carl Mileses is not going to win you games regardless of the "model."

There’s reasons why we didn’t do as well as we did and I think I know most of the reasons.

Oh really? Then why were those reasons not addressed throughout the season? Why did the team show little to no improvement in any phase as the season progressed? Shouldn't a "genius" coach as yourself, so gifted as to know "most of the reasons," be able to apply the necessary fixes?

We weren’t very efficient throwing the ball and that’s something we talked about but we haven’t gotten any better at. We gotta get better at it. People talk about you gotta throw more but you can’t throw more unless you are better at it. It doesn’t make any sense.

Our thoughts exactly.

[Regarding special teams coaching] You know there’s certain areas that I’m going to get more involved in.

Just like you "got more involved" in defense during the 2009 season Coach? Every other week that season, you spoke on your radio show and in press conferences of "getting more involved" to "simplify" the defense, yet the results continued to deteriorate.

If that's what happens when Coach Johnson "gets more involved" in an aspect of the game that doesn't involve the Cheese Ball Offense, then perhaps we as fans should simply encourage him to leave well enough alone in regards to special teams. After all, a popular mantra of the slurpers prior to this season was that the defense "couldn't possibly be any worse" than last year. And as bad as the special teams unit is now Tech fans, it could always get worse, particularly with a self-appointed "genius" like Johnson at the controls.

I was frustrated from my standpoint because I’m accountable for creating that [winning chemistry] and I didn’t do a very good job creating it for whatever reason.

But I thought you knew most of the reasons? Maybe this is one of the few reasons Coach Johnson was not aware of.

[On addressing the special teams situation] Just 2 years ago we were fairly successful doing it that way. If I thought it was a big issue I would address it, I don’t think that is an issue. I think we just have to do a better job. Anytime that you are not as successful as you’d like you go back.. it’s easy to second guess play calls or decisions even when you win. But I don’t see any changes in that area and that is what it is.

Actually, Coach Johnson, your first two years were successful despite inconsistent special teams play. Though I will add that this component of the team appears to have worsened with each passing season-- likely a result of the overall decline in talented depth which has paralleled your Tech career.

And yes, what it is indeed, and forever will continue to be, what it is. You've made that abundantly clear.

I guess Carl Miles is out. He was dismissed.

Well speak of the devil. I guess all those 2-star "Diamonds in the Rough" aren't so easy to sift out after all? Maybe if Mr. Miles is lucky, he can sit out next year and join a nice competitive school in the Sun Belt Conference, where he should have ended up in the first place.

[On when he realized something wasn't right with the team] Before the season ever started.

But before the season you were posturing about how things were "night and day" from when you arrived three years ago, and that this had the chance to be your best team yet(though the record might not show it of course). Since you seem to be so keen at diagnosing "reasons" after the season ends, maybe next year you can work on treating these problems before the losses begin to mount?

These were my kids since the day I took the job. If I have to read that one more time, it makes me want to throw up.

Well, if you want people to stop recalling the exploits of Gailey's leftovers, perhaps you could start by recruiting some talented, playmaking athletes of your own. Either side of the ball will do. Or conversely you could just hire a new assistant dedicated to catching and cleaning up after your cascade of vomit.

The ball's in your court Coach.

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So what did we learn? Basically, that Johnson still doesn't get it. He doesn't get it with team chemistry, he doesn't get it with recruiting, he doesn't get it with special teams or with just about any other aspect of running a major BCS conference program that doesn't involve dialing up the four or five plays necessary to operate his service academy offense.

Furthermore, Johnson remains as arrogant as ever, despite this year's comeuppance. To his credit though, it probably doesn't pay to see reality, what with a salary that is the second-highest out of any coach in his conference, together with the luxury of swindling one of country's most limp-wristed fanbases-- a group which is all too eager to lose to horrible UGA teams year after year and to celebrate Johnson's latest two-star coup on the recruiting trail as if it were a future All-American.

Yes, life is good for Coach Paul Johnson, just as it was for Chan Gailey all those years. And guess what? He's only getting started folks... just wait until he gets the rest of his players in...